Jimmy Wong: the man behind the "Ching Chong means I Love You"

Jimmy Wong is a singer/songwriter/actor from Seattle and is the creator of the youtube sensation “Ching Chong means I Love You” – a response to a racist rant against Asians by former UCLA student, Alexandra Wallace who posted her video on youtube. Jimmy was nice enough to chat with me from his home in LA so I could learn more about the inspiration behind the song. Jimmy is first generation Chinese-American who grew up in what he describes as great community where he never felt directly affected by racism. His parents moved here from China in the 1980’s and had him and his brother. It was a fantastic conversation with this intelligent and driven artist, hope you enjoy.

What was your initial reaction to the Alexandra Wallace video? A friend e-mailed the link to me . . .and I wasn’t necessarily angry , but it was more perplexed and irritated at what I was seeing before me. It was something was so out of place in the 21^st century, you know what I mean? I didn’t really know what to think. I was definitely not angry, I was more bemused. And a little irritated.

What was your time-line for creating “Ching Chong Means I Love You”? I watched it the day before writing the song. I didn’t think that I needed to make a response or anything like that. And then my brother and I ended up talking about it and he was like, ‘you know it may not be a bad idea to do something comedic and do something on you-tube and it might get a lot of attention’. In terms of turn over it was pretty quick, the entire process took me about 8 or 9 hours to film, write and record it.

Have you ever been contacted by Alexandra Wallace? No

Where you surprised how many hits you got after posting the video?

The highest hits I had ever gotten up to that point had been a couple hundred thousand. What I didn’t realize at the time that it was going to have such a significant social impact on the whole situation just because I didn’t realize how deep Alexandra Wallace’s words deeply affected people who had dealt with more racism than I had. It was definitely a pleasant surprise. It was an honor to see how people took it, how well, in the wake of all that happened how it became a reference point for people. To help deal with a situation like this.

My response to the video oscillated between being amused and deeply saddened by her words, what moments stuck out to you: The parts where she mentions being raised as a good American girl were the parts that really got me, they actually made me more sad for her, just the fact that someone could say that in the middle of a racist rant it was very confusing, like: I can’t believe that she’s saying such opposite things right now and be completely oblivious the fact that she is not being a ‘nice American girl’ by any means. That was a big one that stuck out for me. The ‘ching chong ting tong’ part was pretty funny, because actually her impression is not too bad of how someone might sound with a heavy Cantonese accent speaking Chinese in the library. Just because I have grown up around Cantonese accents my entire life and when I saw it, I was like “hey that’s not too bad!” Except for it being terribly racist, that’s not too bad at all! I speak Mandarin, but my Dad speaks Cantonese and so does my entire family. I’m very used to hearing very thick accents speaking both Chinese and English and I can pick up on accents pretty easily, but the accent in my video is more Japanese.

As a performer do you feel that being an Asian male comes with any baggage?

It’s a mixed bag of things, in a lot of ways there assets and downsides to being an Asian actor. In my case it opens up a lot of roles – in other cases it completely shuts a lot of other ones out. Given the choice, a Hollywood executive is more apt to cast a relatable young white male in the lead of a big budget movie rather than an Asian lead, it’s not that they wouldn’t cast an Asian – they would be more comfortable with them being the supporting role .... I think for the most part it’s tough just because, there hasn’t been one or two in that demographic that have broken out of that mold. If you look back to the 80’s you can see that African American actors stood up and wanted to be recognized and they wanted their presence to be equal in this industry. They really took a large step forward in actually making that happen. And because of their tenacity and their boldness – they were recognized and they have grown in into the community. And that’s not to say that it’s not a battle that everyone isn’t still fighting. I just don’t think that Asians have made that bold step necessarily. And they may be in part because the culture is more of a collectivist culture in general. It’s not so much focused on the individual but more the family so that’s why it hasn’t yet. For the most part, that’s sort of what’s holding us back and there haven’t been one or two people out there that prove to everyone else that it is possible to open those doors that remain closed.

Sure, but I don’t know if I agree that a White male is more relatable that an Asian male. I mean don’t Asians deserve to be marketed directly to? I once read an article about how when being marketed to in commercials Asians had the same response to a white person and than to an Asian person on screen. Meaning that regardless of what’s on screen – their ability to want to buy a product didn’t differ depending on the race of actor selling the product. I can’t remember where I had read it, but it really stuck with me.

What is Asian American culture? Is there a connection between us? I loved your song “Chinese Food” - you were celebrating a place, a thing that you felt a connection to and yet remain outside of it. There’s this pride about feeling connected to something isn’t there?– but also, you are far enough away from it that you don’t take it for granted, you can appreciate it. What do you think Asian-American culture is? : a connection to a place that we originated from or the experience of our ancestors or past generations being immigrants? (I realize this question has no real answer. . . )

I totally agree with you that there is a sense of fraternity between Asian-Americans – but that is a double edged sword. We are all grouped as being Asians – and in a lot of ways it’s empowering – but it also takes away power at the same time. But, there is a common bond between all of us – if you look back in the major philosophies. I think Confucianism is something that runs very strong through all Asian cultures. That is stresses the importance of family, filial piety that’s rooted in all Asian cultures and that is something that we can all identify with. It may not be something we even realize – it may be more subconscious. It’s sort of, how we treat our parents, how our parents treat us. That’s something we all naturally connect with each other on without even realizing it. Another part of it is the immigrant thing, whether you are first generation, second generation – we all know our personal history – I think our parents make sure that we know that history more than anything else. I find that it’s the same with other immigrant families. I think that’s one thing most Americans have in common – that there is a strong history of immigration in everyone’s family. The connection we feel is both cultural and philosophical and in a weird way you connect to people who look like you.

I have noticed that we Asian-Americans also have a huge appreciation for each other’s food: I think it’s because we share the same key ingredient: rice! “Chinese Food” was a fun song for me to write because I have been to China 9 or 10 times now and every time I go back it changes. It’s so interesting to see what has changed and how – I think at the core of it I grew up with eating Chinese food. My mom would always cook for us when we were growing up and it was the one thing that stayed consistent throughout all my trips to China. And I felt that very strong and also very sad that culturally everything else was changing and it was the food that always stayed the same – that the world and culture changed and how they wanted to be represented. The billboards that they put up…In a lot of ways I feel like it was kind of a weird betrayal of what being Chinese actually meant. But at the core of it I was still happy that the food remained the same. And that was something that was valued still and that over all, things are going to change, but who you are, at the core you are who you are and that remains the same.

Click here for Jimmy Wong’s “Chinese Food”

Here for more about Alexandra Wallace inspired thoughts and ideas

How a racist white girl at UCLA made me proud to be an Asian-American

There is a video on youtube by a UCLA student Alexandra Wallace that caused quite a stir in April of this year. There are no cute cats boxing, 9 year old prodigies singing the national anthem or scary religious girls talking about how the tsunami was a blessing from God. No, Alexandra’s rant is about how the ‘hordes of Asian people’ that attend UCLA really bother her because they talk on their cel phones in the library. She does an entertaining version of what I believe is Chinese (..?) and goes on to say ‘I guess they are, like, checking on their families because of the Tsunami.”

The stupidity in this video is (not intentionally) humorous and seemingly harmless. She seems to be annoyed with Asians for a couple of other reasons as well. Their families takeover the dorms on weekends, cooking and cleaning for their young relatives attending UCLA and this really seems to annoy young Alexandra because to her it seems that these Asians don’t know how to fend for themselves. Incredible. I have heard a lot of stereo-types before – but this one is new and exciting. Attention Asians! We no longer have the book smart, hard-working, self sufficient stereo-type to worry about. We are now considered spoiled and lazy! Unable to do our laundry and cook. Cooking and Laundry. Yes, two things that Asians haven’t learned to do well in this country at all.

Thank you Alexandra for inventing new and improved stereotypes. Who says we haven’t come a long way?

I don’t normally pay attention to the mindless heap of crap on you tube - however it is the artists from the Asian community that responded to Alexandra Wallace’s infamous post (she has since dropped out of UCLA) in their own youtube videos that had me giddy with satisfaction. These inventive responses are what interest me the most about little miss racist’s rant. I just gotta say – I love you Asian America. And not just because you look like me and my family. But because you are funny as hell, smart, you are too forgiving and you don’t take yourselves too seriously. It is just the correct response to something like this. But (as always) I’m interested in the big questions, too. And that is: Perhaps Little Miss Foriegnerphobic is really not racist in the traditional sense. Perhaps what we are talking about is a fear, an annoyance, an aggression towards foreign born Asians. What seems to peeve Miss Wallace off are cultural idiosyncrasies, not racial ones. And yet, the Asians responding to the video are all Asian-American (yes, we get a hyphen too) – people of Asian descent who were born here, raised here and are just as American as Miss Wallace. Is that really who Alexandra was voicing her anger at? It doesn’t seem so. So why are all my AAs the ones speaking up and talking back to Miss Wallace? Could it be we were waiting for chance to get this off of our chests? Could it be that we are more connected to the people who are born and raised in those places we’ve only heard about than we thought? Perhaps . . . Do Asian-American young people statistically bring more family members to visit them on campus than other ethnic groups? Do Asian Americans value family more than Caucasian Americans? I believe we do. But, I don’t believe it’s a racial issue – I believe it’s a cultural one, one that is not only a reflection of our ancestors values but a result of Asians (as with many people of color) being excluded from American society based on their racial background, Americans or not. Perhaps Alexandra didn’t stop to think (as perhaps a child of foreign born parents might) that the reason Grandma and Grandpa stop by Junior’s dorm room every weekend to take him grocery shopping, help out with housework, cook food for him and take a hands-on approach to investing in his education is because he could be the first one in his family to go to college. Maybe young Junior’s education is being paid for by his Grandparents’ Korean market, a business they ran for 30 years investing their blood, sweat and tears in East LA so they could see their first born Grandson attend a prestigious college like UCLA. Maybe Junior’s family visit him every weekend because they don’t want him eating mac and cheese, pizza and McDonalds for dinner; perhaps noodles, steamed Chinese broccoli and rice will keep him from gaining the freshman 10 and keep his appreciation for his rich culture alive and well – even while surrounded by racist white girls who think he’s just another ching chong chinaman. My question is: why does this bother her so much? Is it because Korean / Cantonese/ Japanese/ Vietnamese/ Mandarin is so foreign to her ears that it gives her little brain headaches? Does the Kim Chi smell distract her from enjoying her Lean Cuisine Chicken Alfredo? Or could it be that Asians graduate from colleges at a higher rate than any other ethnic group (including whites) and therefore earn a higher median family income than any other ethnic group in America (including whites)? Is it because the media won’t stop talking about how the Chinese are taking over the world and kicking our youngsters’ asses academically speaking. Is that what this is about? The ‘model minority’ is succeeding (according to the stats and the American values of money and education) and no one seems very happy about it.

The evidence of our paradoxical status has always been clear to me in the way the media refers to minorities as “Blacks and Hispanics”. There are numerous polls dedicated to finding out who the “Blacks and Hispanics” are voting for, what their values are, what their political concerns are. No one seems to think of Asians as a minority worth polling. Perhaps people think Asians aren’t opinionated, that our success in society doesn’t have anything to do with policy, government or political candidates? Is it because all of us AAs are doing so well that we don’t need anything from our government? Or is it just because we are just invisible?

Recently, New York magazine published an article by Wesley Yang entitled “Paper Tigers” about the experience of the Asian American man, this quote appeared on the cover of the magazine:

“Here is what I suspect my face signifies to other Americans: an invisible person. An icon of so much that the culture pretends to honor but in fact patronizes and exploits. Not just people who are ‘good at math’ but a mass of stifled, repressed, abused, conformist quasi-robots who simply do not matter”

This article was one of the most popular stories the magazine had ever published online. An article about Asian American identity grabbed so much attention and incited opinions worthy of numerous comments on their web page, tweets, and blog posts. Meanwhile Asians actors play ‘colorful’ supporting characters in the media – but never are never spoken (or marketed) directly to. This leads me to believe Mr. Yang said things we have been thinking ourselves but rarely talk about. This leads me to believe Asian Americans think about their identity a lot more than anyone ever knew. And I believe Asian America is pissed off about being so invisible. I think we all exhaled a bit after reading this piece whether we agreed with his point of view or not.

During the 1980’s there were some low-budget public service announcements on television in San Francisco that have become a prominent memory of my childhood. San Francisco residents speaking into the camera: “I’m proud to be Asian American” or “I’m proud to be Mexican-American.” As a kid I always thought it was strange that a commercial was giving me the instruction to ‘be proud’. As if we needed coaching on how to feel about ourselves and our hyphenated identities. However the Asian American youtube responders actually gave me more to feel prideful about than those PSA’s did in 1985.

There were a good amount of responses online that were exactly what you would think. Good old crappy video rants stating the obvious, zero self editing and very little forethought. However, there were a few superstars. The first one being David So, a comedian who ‘vlogs’ on you tube who touts a few hundred subscribers. In his response he does a kind of stand up routine and although it’s not the most fully formed response, it made me laugh. It was a relief that someone had a response that was a little angry but mostly prideful and funny – he keeps it light and doesn’t take himself or Alexandra Wallace seriously but uses her video as source material for his brand of comedy. David So is Korean-American and gets comments that he sounds black, he has responded to this in a vlog he posted. He is a true representation of who Asian-Americans are today, he has obviously been influenced by African American culture or is it “Hip Hop Culture” ? Or my favorite term “Urban Culture”? What I love about David So’s comedy is that he is funny, proud and confident in who he is.

Jimmy Wong is what I like to call an Asian Sensation. Jimmy Wong is a musician / songwriter /actor who has written a beautifully wicked song called “Ching Chong Means I love You”. ‘Ching Chong Ling Long’ is a direct quote from one of the most memorable moments in the Alexandra Wallace’s video. He has turned her laughable insults into a love song directed towards Miss Wallace with a catchy chorus and brilliant lyrics. Jimmy is not only a talented singer and songwriter but in this one song he manages to be sarcastic without being mean. He taunts her, but in a very innocent way – never overstepping his wit. There is something genuinely sad in the song. “When it comes to love, there are no boundaries”, he sings. Yes, it’s funny given the context. But, isn’t it also a hopeful statement? Jimmy Wong’s video is well produced and one can’t help getting that song stuck in one’s head (it is also available as a ring-tone). I was lucky enough to speak with Mr. Wong and ask him about his you tube video, which has now reached over a million hits. Read our interview here!

Lastly, there is Kazamm The Man with his “Ching Chong Rap”. Kazamm samples audio from Alexandra Wallace’s video and breaks it down into a west coast style beat in his version of what happens in the library when he runs into Miss Wallace. Kazamm has a quirky flow and spares us of any crotch grabbing female bashing. He turns the story around deciding to comment on the stereo-types about Asian men: “I know I’m chinky eyed, but not every Asian man’s dick is pinky sized!” He asks Miss Wallace out on a date where “ we could eat some egg rolls or some pot stickers”. He complains that she is one of many white girls that have rejected him. Kazamm’s song is well produced, the beat is clean and his flow is melodious and fun, but his insight as an Asian man trying to talk to white girls makes for an especially unique perspective. Kazamm takes the stereo-types and fleshes them out, he’s not happy about them but he’s not going to ignore them. As we listen to the sample of Miss Wallace’s offensive imitation of Asian people, it starts to lose its original context. It becomes a beat (along with his own sampling of another male voice imitating Cantonese), unusual repetitive sounds onto which Kazamm rhymes and weaves a story with humor and self-reflection. The twisted racist sound byte becomes the back beat for a talented Asian-American artist to rap over.

It is because of Alexandra Wallace’s racist video that I learned about these artists – their videos were sitting just to the right of the you tube post waiting to be discovered. One has to think: If it wasn’t for Miss Wallace’s antics I wouldn’t feel so good about being Asian American right now. We may not be embraced by society as a whole but at least we talked back and we did it in a really unique way. We used our talents, our humor and honesty to tell her not just that she was wrong but how she was wrong. Maybe we just needed someone to piss us off enough to stand up and say what we’ve wanted to say for a long time. So, thanks Alexandra Wallace. Thanks for the inspiration and for introducing me to some fellow Asian-Americans who don’t follow whatever formulaic existence might be expected. The mold is being broken slowly but surely.

Read my interview with Jimmy Wong, the man behind “Ching Chong Means I Love You”!

Choose your battles, pick your weapons and ask yourself if you're up for it.

I woke up today (ridiculously early) feeling vaguely annoyed and a bit sad. I stayed in bed for a moment after turning of my persistent alarm and tried to look back into my dreams from the previous night. I wanted to sort out whatever this feeling was, where it was coming from and what had happened to me in my dreams. This is a new ritual I perform in the mornings as I have come to believe that my dreams have a rather large impact on what I feel like, emotionally, when I wake up. The feeling tends to linger and I find I have a hard time focusing on the present moment until I acknowledge what I dreamt about the night before. The most common emotions I awake with are the feelings of relief and wonder when I have dreamt that I finally found the hair brush I lost last week or the book I was looking for the day before. This triumphant feeling pervades until I realize that I haven’t found that book in my waking life.

Today, I opened my eyes to a feeling of sad resolution. As I searched my unconscious, I realized that my subconscious had been running through memories of the past two months of my acting class I have been taking every Sunday. I had been taking stock of all the moments in class when I felt offended, demeaned and saddened. At some point while I was dreaming about these re-created moments I came upon a feeling of clarity. I shall have to go back and tell you about this class and what it has entailed.

Early in the year I was feeling like a lazy actor, my acting muscles were weak and I was out of shape. I received an e-mail from someone who used to have a theater company here in New York. I had seen him act and knew that he was relatively successful. He was teaching an 8 week acting course, we would work on scenes, monologues and we would “have fun”. I signed up. I memorized the monologue he requested and showed up that first Sunday night all bright and shiny.

The past eight weeks have been a test of my patience and a lesson in integrity. The class consists of 6 women and 3 men. Two men over 40 and one in his 30’s, the women range in age from 17 to late 40’s. The first scene he assigned the beautiful 17 year old girl was from The Boom Boom Room, a 1960’s drama by David Rabe about a young girl , Chrissy, who works as a go-go dancer in a skanky club. She has vague memories of sexual abuse from her father and a mother who wanted her aborted ; the play follows her as she struggles through relationships with a cast of seedy characters, who expose her to drugs, violence and more abuse. The scene in which my teacher (let’s call him Jim) chooses for her and her partner is one where Chrissy is ‘dancing’ for men at the club, comes backstage and is propositioned by one of the other dancers (an older woman) and Chrissy entertains the idea of a lesbian relationship. The second time the scene was done, the young actress wore a costume: a stripper’s outfit (platform heals, hot pants and a bra) and simulated a lap dance for the first part of the scene. After the scene was finished, Jim asked a man in class what he thought, at which time he replied, “I liked the first five minutes!” My teacher laughed, the 17 year old giggled and everyone seemed to chuckle knowingly. Jim asked the other older man what he thought of the scene “It was great!”. Laughs all around. I was speechless. I was creeped out. As the next few weeks on the scene was worked on, no mention was made about the character’s fragility, her history of abuse, her disturbingly low self-worth. In fact Jim even made the comment one day in class, “All women are strippers.” I responded, “What does that mean? That’s a bit offensive don’t you think?” “I think 90 percent of attractive females in New York have worked in the sex industry in one form or another. I bet you money this is true.” He said.

“I don’t think so. I don’t know any women personally in New York who have worked in the sex industry..”

“Yeah, because they wouldn’t TELL you.” Laughing.

I looked around the room in horror. No one seemed to mind. One woman in class, in her mid thirties attempted to speak up. But it seemed like a lost cause.

The teacher asks one of men in class, “Hey, don’t you think that 90 percent of attractive women in New York have worked in the sex industry at one point or another?” he cornered him.

Mid-thirties guy stumbles, “Uh, I don’t know. I think 90 percent is a little high…”

I was dumbfounded. What were we really talking about? What was the point of that inane comment? It struck me later that 50-90 percent of women who are sex workers are victims of childhood sexual abuse and the percentage is the same for non-sexual physical abuse. Compared to the general population, women in the sex industry suffer significantly higher rates of rape and violent assault, drug addiction, domestic abuse, depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I guess that is why his flippant comment struck me as offensive. At the time I could not put together these thoughts, I was so offended that I could not respond with words. He insinuated that most women secretly wanted to be strippers; like it’s a secret aspiration for all women to get paid to take off their clothes. But the idea that for many women it wasn’t a much of a choice or a dream job, but a result of mental and emotional childhood damage was ignored. Even when it was right there in front of him in The Boom Boom Room.

The next class he had one of the men work on a monologue from a play where the character, an edgy stand-up comedian describes how he rapes a dead girl because it felt too good not to. He describes in detail how he gets his penis stuck inside her and how this is ‘an awkward situation’. My teacher’s instruction is to perform this piece as if he is seducing all the women in the room and the way to do this is to behave ‘like you are the funniest, sexiest guy in the room but not give a shit if anyone is laughing at your jokes’. He called it “maliciously seductive”. The actor, who is a stand-up comedian, said after he did this monologue “Gee, huh..the females in the audience are like…huh, what’s this guy talking about?!” Interesting, I didn’t know having sex with dead people was a guy thing. This was cause enough for me to feel uncomfortable yet my instructor took it to another level.

“You know, when I played this part women would walk out of the theater! Ha! You know what I did? I followed them out. I would follow them out of the theater, down the stairs – saying the monologue the whole time! And one time, this girl who I did the play with said ‘Hey, you shouldn’t do that! Her boyfriend could be in the mafia or something and come after you.’ And I said ‘You can’t worry about stuff like that’!” He said, his chest puffed up proud as a peacock.

My mind went blank at his moment. I anticipated what I would receive had I spoken up – “That’s what brutal theater IS! Is that too real for you?”.

My guess would be that the women who walked out of the theater were rape victims who didn’t really want to sit through rape jokes. Or perhaps they were just women who, like me, felt sicker and sicker with every word and just needed to leave. Either way, my teacher thought it was so cool and badass to follow these women out of the theater. How strange! I thought stand-up comedians were supposed to make people (not just men) laugh, not run in fear and disgust.

I recently found a video of Patsy Rodenburg, a brilliant acting teacher; she said something that really struck me. It nearly took my breath away because I felt that she was talking to me personally. She was speaking about how many teachers teach with cruelty and how she was very frustrated by it. She brings up a central theme in Shakespeare: the abuse of power. She states how ironic this seemed; that there are people teaching Shakespeare who misuse their power.

Thankfully, I have only one more class to get through. Exactly half of me is filled with the feeling that some injustice has occurred and that these offences should not go unanswered. The other half of me, the part of me that woke me up this morning, feels deflated and sad that disrespectful behavior towards women is more common place than I believed. Or wanted to believe. Fighting it may be more like climbing a hundred foot brick wall; I will most likely exhaust myself, get hurt and not make much progress. I have made it known, perhaps too subtly, that I don’t appreciate disrespectful comments about women, even if it’s a joke. In fact more so when it’s supposed to be funny as I believe humor at times is used to hide violence towards women. How many times have I heard ‘Can’t you take a joke?’ Not when it’s meant to make devaluing women more socially acceptable. When there is cruelty involved I find it hard to laugh.

For the most part I remain quiet. I take it in and I am amazed. I am humbled. I am deeply saddened. Perhaps I am more fortunate than I thought; I have many men in my life who respect and honor me. Perhaps I don’t know how to fight this battle. Perhaps there is a sense of shame in showing one’s anger. Perhaps I have not figured out how to separate the two. And even that feels shameful. How does one fight sexism? How do you fight an idea? I admire people who find their strategy. I wish I could shamelessly find mine. But it seems like whole lot of work for one sexist asshole, doesn’t it?

Someone said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

I am a believer. It’s yet to be seen if I am a fighter.

Stats on sex workers

Patsy Rodenburg - one powerful woman.

Please Explain

Let’s start with the sleeping. “The Art of….” implies that there might be a unique way of doing something that most people don’t think about , it also implies that there is a set of techniques or standards for that particular activity. One example would be Ikebana, the Japanese Art of flower arranging. Not many people would assume there was such a thing; however in Japan, people have been learning and practicing this art form for centuries. There are different styles of Ikebana that have developed over time and books have been written about the evolution of these forms. It is fascinating that people could make an entire art form out of something in nature that was already so beautiful and seemingly perfect. After learning about Ikebana I could not look at flowers in vase the same way again. In fact, it bothers me now when there has been no thought to the arrangement of flowers in a vase.

An artist does something that is unique, that is remarkable or dynamic and reflects their particular point of view. In my opinion it also requires a little skill or knowledge of the craft or some curiosity about its history. Everyone sleeps differently and approaches sleep differently. To some it comes easily and without too much thought or preparation, obedient and dependable. To others, it is sacred and precious. We chase it, it is elusive and we never get enough of it. For most, sleep comes at the end of their day. We wake up on the other side of that day to a new day. For me, preparation for sleep (or the closing of one day in my life) is always full of reflection. Often times my brain is so active I have terrible bouts of insomnia. And when I don’t have insomnia, sleep is still incredibly difficult to just fall into. Someday I hope to master the art of sleep. It is beautiful and essential to existence, there must be an art to it.

I will explore not just sleep but all the things that contribute to departing my day with peace.

I cannot go to bed hungry. Ever. So food will be a big topic. Cooking an artful meal makes me feel accomplished and proud. Savoring and sharing your creativity with others feels like love.

Creativity keeps me awake at night. Reading an amazing novel, contemplating how the actors in a film made their choices or pondering how some article I read in the The New Yorker would make a great play. I often dream about the characters in the show I am currently obsessed with, their voices narrate my life in my subconscious. I stay awake at night reminding myself I am not doing enough as an artist. I am not productive enough, not dedicated enough.

“ I need to go to the museum tomorrow or… Friday, I haven’t been in so long … I need inspiration and education. How can I call myself an artist?! I need to go to bed so I can wake up early and be prolific, like Spike Lee or Woody Allen. I love “Annie Hall”. I wonder if it’s on Netflicks….”

(cut to 3:30 AM – Kira on the couch watching “Annie Hall” eating cheese. Wide awake.)

The big questions keep me awake as well. What’s the point of making art? Who is it for? Why bother? Why do I exist? How should I exist? Tomorrow is a new day, how will I approach it?

These things enter in my consciousness before I sleep and sometimes ideas unfold in my dreams. The Art of Sleeping, Eating and Making Stuff is my attempt to share them with you. Perhaps I will understand them better, share better, create better and sleep better.